Heartache
by flooj9235
Summary: Exile is on a foreign planet, searching for Revan. She knows Carth is waiting for Revan's return, and is presented with an amazing stroke of luck. A\N: Time between Exile and Revan isn't canon. It's less than a year. Sorry for any confusion!


Exile turned, stopping in her trudging across the large barren plain. She listened for a moment, her ears picking up the sound of someone crying. Her Force sense tingled. Exile's heart pounded. It couldn't be…

She ran toward the sound, skidding to a halt just before she fell into a large crevice in the ground that was invisible until she was upon it. She peered down into the crevice, which was only about four feet deep. Her heart skipped a beat. "Revan?!"

Revan glanced up at Exile, her cheeks wet with tears. "It's Alrin," she corrected, wincing. She drew her knees to her chest as best she could, and for the first time the Exile noticed that Alrin was very pregnant.

Exile slid over the edge of the crevice and landed at Alrin's feet. "Are you all right?"

"No!" Alrin cried through her tears. "I'm not! I'm having a baby right now and Carth didn't even know I was pregnant! Hell, I didn't know I was pregnant, and now both me and my baby are going to die! We're going to die on this damned planet!!"

"No, you're not," Exile soothed, taken aback at Alrin's outburst. "I'll help you. You won't die."

Alrin groaned, her hands on her belly. "Why?" she asked quietly, closing her eyes. "Why did I have to be pregnant now?? Oh, Exile…" She opened her eyes and tried to smile as another contraction swept through her. "It's been a long time."

Exile smiled, edging closer to Alrin. "Yes, it has. Is it almost time?"

Alrin nodded, biting her lip and groaning.

"Just hang on," Exile murmured, slipping out of her robe and pushing her sleeves up her arms.

After many moans and cries from Alrin, the loud, lusty yell of a baby filled Exile's ears. Alrin slumped back against the ground, tears in her eyes. Her chest heaved as she gasped for air, and after a moment she propped herself up on her elbow, grinning at the infant in Exile's arms.

Exile grabbed her robe and wrapped up the small child in it, wiping off the body fluid as she did. She smiled down at the baby, handing it to Alrin.

Alrin took the infant into her arms, cuddling it close. "Which is it?" she asked Exile, barely able to tear her eyes away from the infant.

"It's a girl," Exile answered, sitting back on her heels. She still couldn't believe that she had found Alrin. Admiral Onasi would be pleased. And if he knew she had had a baby! The only obstacle would be to get Alrin and her child back to the _Ebon Hawk, _which was a task Exile didn't know if she could do alone. "Alrin?"

Alrin looked up, her eyes suddenly very tired. "Yeah?"

"Can you walk, do you think?"

Alrin shrugged, cuddling the baby close. "I don't know. I'm really, really tired."

Exile frowned, laying a hand on Alrin's forehead. She delved into Alrin's body, checking her health. Exile drew out of Alrin with alarm, opening her eyes in time to see Alrin's eyes close.

Alrin fell back against the wall of the crevice, her arms loosening around the baby.

"Alrin!" Exile cried, reaching for the baby. She noticed the pool of blood forming around Alrin on the ground and realized that something had gone wrong whilst delivering the baby. "Oh Force! Alrin!!"

Alrin's face had a deathly grey color, and a moment later the eerie chill of death filled the air.

Exile felt like the breath was sucked out of her. She couldn't breathe for a moment, let alone function. She clutched the small baby in her arms, staring at her old companion's dead body.

* * *

The door hissed open, and Carth looked up. He straightened as he saw Exile in the doorway. He opened his mouth to say something, but the look on Exile's face convinced him to remain silent.

Exile stepped into the room, heading to Carth's desk. She watched him as he stood, reaching into her robe and pulling out a lightsaber hilt. She laid it on his desk, staring at it and drawing a deep breath.

Carth glanced down at it and immediately saw Alrin's name engraved in the side of the hilt. He felt his chest constrict.

Exile cleared her throat, bringing Carth's gaze up to meet hers. She turned slightly, bringing a small sling around from her back to her front. She picked up the small baby nestled in the fabric, handing it over to Carth.

Carth stared down at the baby in his arms. He looked up at Exile, his eyes asking the unspoken question.

Exile only nodded, her gaze dropping down to the baby. "I'm so sorry," she murmured, turning on her heel and leaving.

Carth sank into his chair, staring at the baby as tears filled his eyes. "Oh, Alrin," he moaned, holding his child close. Their child. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that the child would follow in Alrin's footsteps and become a great Jedi.

Carth dialed Bastila's contact code into the computer, knowing she would be prompt. That was all that mattered, anyway. He rocked the infant as the summons code was sent to Bastila's communicator. As the child slept, cuddled against his chest, Carth felt a strange, almost foreign emotion. For the first time in years, he felt a flicker of love in his broken heart.

His secretary buzzed him. "Bastila Shan is here to see you."

"Let her in," Carth replied, surprised at the hollow sound in his voice.

The door to his office hissed open and Bastila stepped in. She looked slightly worried as she hurried to his desk. She opened her mouth to ask what was the matter, stopping as she saw the baby in Carth's arms and the tears in his eyes. She gasped as she realized what must have happened. "Is that….?"

Carth nodded wordlessly.

"But then where's…" Bastila glanced over her shoulder, looking for her best friend, though she already knew it was pointless.

"Dead," Carth mumbled, getting to his feet.

Bastila blanched, watching silently as Carth headed around his desk toward her.

Carth brushed his lips against the baby's forehead, heading her over to Bastila. "Train her."

Bastila glanced down at the infant in her arms with surprise, looking back up at Carth. A frown creased her features. "I… uh… what's her name?" she asked shakily.

"Kyla," Carth replied softly, knowing that Alrin had always loved the name.

Bastila swallowed, nodding. She tucked the infant into her arms, tears in her eyes as she grieved for her best friend, being careful not to wake the baby. "Carth, I'm… I'm so sorry." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"So am I," he mumbled, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and turning away.

Bastila stood there for a moment, finally heading for the door. She cradled the child of her best friend, being careful not to wake the infant.

"Train her well," Carth called after Bastila, his voice pained. "Make sure she does her mama proud."

Bastila stopped as she neared the door, looking over her shoulder at Carth. She took only a split second to make her decision. "No, Carth." She headed back to him and deposited his child in his arms. "Keep her. Alrin…" Bastila choked on the name. "Alrin would have wanted her to stay with you. She always… She loved being a Jedi, but I think she loved you more. She would have given up the Force to make you happy, Carth. I knew that she thought about leaving the Jedi many times. I could tell through our bond."

Surprised, though dulled by pain, flickered in Carth's eyes. "I…"

Bastila shook her head to silence him, wiping tears out of her eyes. "Carth, keep her. She's your daughter, and Alrin wanted a normal life. For both of you." She gave him a long, meaningful look before turning and leaving without another word.

Something in Carth's chest unclenched as he watched the door hiss shut behind Bastila. He looked down at his daughter and hugged her gently. Knowing Bastila was right, he turned to his window and stared out at the stars.

"I love you, Alrin," he whispered to the stars.

And as their daughter slept in his arms, he could have sword he heard Alrin whisper, "I love you, too."


End file.
